So many presenters miss the opportunity to engage their audiences with dialogue. Speaking is live performance; why share the words as written prose?
“If you wanta pull in here an’ camp it’ll cost you four bits. Get a place to camp an’ water an’ wood. An’ nobody won’t bother you.”
“What the hell,” said Tom. “We can sleep in the ditch right beside the road, an’ it won’t cost nothing.”
The owner drummed his knee with his fingers. “Deputy sheriff comes on by in the night. Might make it tough for ya. Got a law against sleepin’ out in this state. Got a law about vagrants.”
“If I pay you a half a dollar I ain’t a vagrant, huh?”
“That’s right.”
Tom’s eyes glowed angrily. “Deputy sheriff ain’t your brother-in-law by any chance?”
It’s strong dialogue, emotionally charged with a thread of injustice that needs no explanation, but if we were to integrate it into a speech, we have to consider that our audience probably hasn’t read the story up to this point. We need some narration to introduce the story … and we don’t need a narrator to explain the elements we can act out on stage. Let’s cut those out.
“If you wanta pull in here an’ camp it’ll cost you four bits. Get a place to camp an’ water an’ wood. An’ nobody won’t bother you.”
“What the hell,” said Tom. “We can sleep in the ditch right beside the road, an’ it won’t cost nothing.”
The owner drummed his knee with his fingers. “Deputy sheriff comes on by in the night. Might make it tough for ya. Got a law against sleepin’ out in this state. Got a law about vagrants.”
“If I pay you a half a dollar I ain’t a vagrant, huh?”
“That’s right.”
Tom’s eyes glowed angrily. “Deputy sheriff ain’t your brother-in-law by any chance?”
Leaving in the dialogue tags and descriptors is a common mistake. If the audience can see you say something, drum your fingers on your knee, or look angry, why would you tell them you’re doing that?
Hey, I’m writing an article about speaking and dialogue! 🤔
A second mistake is to overlook the fact that there are three characters in this bit, not two: Tom, the landowner, and the narrator. Let’s write this out as if it were a skit with three actors. We’ll start with an opening narration so the audience can take a shortcut to the one scene being presented.
Narrator: My family is no stranger to injustice. My grandfather told me a story about when his family headed west from Oklahoma during the Great Depression.
Landowner: If you wanta pull in here an’ camp it’ll cost you four bits. Get a place to camp an’ water an’ wood. An’ nobody won’t bother you.”
Tom: “What the hell! We can sleep in the ditch right beside the road, an’ it won’t cost nothing.”
Landowner: [Drums fingers nervously on knee] “Deputy sheriff comes on by in the night. Might make it tough for ya. Got a law against sleepin’ out in this state. Got a law about vagrants.”
Tom: “If I pay you a half a dollar I ain’t a vagrant, huh?”
Landowner: “That’s right.”
Tom: “Deputy sheriff ain’t your brother-in-law by any chance?”
And here’s where the opportunities open up. How will you let your audience know who’s speaking?
And instead of narrating that you’re angry or that a character said something, act out those emotions and just say it.
And though I’ve been advised by many capable speakers to “never look away from the audience,” stage actors don’t look at the audience, and screen actors don’t look at the camera (unless the script specifically instructs them to “break the fourth wall”). And if you’re speaking in a large room, you can only look at one section at a time. When you include dialogue in a presentation, you are both speaking (narrating) and acting—two different ways of engaging.
Act out the conversation between the prospect and the sales professional, the client and the customer care rep, or that horrible micromanager and the disengaged employee. Then switch into narrator mode and ask the audience how the characters could have done things differently—or just make your point. Whether you’re giving a keynote speech or a business pitch, well-presented dialogue will add depth and power to your next presentation.
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